This is Jonathan. Christina implored me to tell the story of my dissertation defense. This should count as your proper warning--this is not an exciting and/or funny post.
So I wrote my dissertation over the past few years. Generally, once one has selected a topic, one will spend 1-2 years researching and 1-2 years writing the dissertation. I spent roughly 1.5 years researching my topic and another year or so writing it. Of course, the 3 previous years were spent learning the surrounding arguments that would bracket my research. Dissertations are supposed to "fill a gap" in the existing literature on a topic. They are much better if they can fill several gaps. My dissertation (on Henry David Thoreau and political detachment) tried to respond to critical reception of Thoreau in the past 20 years while also responding to the liberal/communitarian divide in political theory. The most important thing about a dissertation is making sure you fill this gap properly, which means that you have to read EVERYTHING about a topic before you can write about it. I read about 15,000 pages of Thoreau's original writings (twice, and I'm reading them now a third time), somewhere around 50 books on Thoreau (again, twice) and 100 or so articles on Thoreau. After that, I read another 30 or so books on liberalism and another 25 or so on communitarianism. Then you have to index all the important points and get ready to write.
Writing takes forever. Some people in my department have been at the writing stage for 5-6 years and still haven't finished. I outlined my dissertation in about 15 pages, and gave myself deadlines for everything. Of course, you have to expect the unexpected, and I found myself adding two chapters, taking a chapter away, and completely rewriting the introduction twice. All in all, I wrote 8 chapters in my dissertation, totaling around 320 pages. (I'm now in the process of transforming the dissertation into a book-- hopefully by March, which means another 100 or so pages in addition).
So, after 6 or so years spent leading up to the moment, I finally defended my dissertation last Tuesday. I was really nervous (I had flu-like symptoms that kept me in bed the previous weekend) with momentary bouts of panic throughout the days leading up to the defense. Finally, around 2:45 on Tuesday afternoon, I saw Christina come into the Political Science lounge and I was calmed a bit. I was really excited that our friend Sarah watched Ezra and Annika so Christina could come. Since the writing and preparing of the dissertation takes so much time--including a lot of late nights, weekends, holidays, etc.--this defense was as much Christina's moment as mine. A lot of people say that "without so-and-so, this wouldn't have been possible." The truth is, I probably would have written a dissertation even if I hadn't met Christina, since it is what I've wanted to do for a really, really long time. But it would not have been as good, and it definitely would not have been as fun.
In addition to Christina, my friend Nate and a few fellow grad students came to the defense. My advisor came in a bit before 3:00. Dr. Weinstein is world-renowned for his research on the philosophy of technology and American political philosophy. He's also married to the world's foremost scholar on heavy-metal music and is himself the former lead singer of an anarchist punk band. He is the greatest guy in the world. My other committee members include Dan, who is a scholar of french philosophy and pretty much everything else, Leigh, who is a scholar of environmental politics, Kevin, who is a Marx scholar, and Sam, who is a scholar of contemporary rhetorical theory. The dissertation committee is pretty important, since these are the guys who are going to give you feedback, write your recommendations, decide if you actually get to receive your doctorate, etc. My committee was great!
When we started, I was allowed to talk for 5 minutes or so before the questions started. Your committee has a month or so to read over your dissertation before the defense, and they prepare a list of questions for you to answer at the defense. Sam, who is from the Communication department, was asked to go first. He asked me so great questions about ethics and writing, very difficult questions that were hard to respond to. After he was finished, Dan, who is in the philosophy department, asked me some questions. Dan's questions were about liberalism and whether what Thoreau was writing would fit into the liberal camp. These were also great questions. Leigh asked about my contention that Thoreau was not ethical with a series of questions that were also very good and difficult to answer. After this round, we had to move to the department head's office in order to call my fourth committee member, Kevin, who is currently on research leave at UCLA. We had all sorts of trouble with the phone, since I could barely hear him and there was a lot of feedback into the phone. Kevin asked variations on the same question over and over, which got frustrating because I felt I had sufficiently answered him.
The question and answer session went on for two hours before my dissertation chair stopped everyone and asked me to leave the room. Once they were alone, they discuss whether I pass and what types of corrections I might have to make. I got really lucky--I passed and only had to make a few minor corrections and one minor addition. Then my chair calls me back into the room where the committee greets me as "Dr. McKenzie," which was kind of cool.
Now, a few days later, people ask me "how does it feel to be finished?" And, to be honest, the answer I've settled on is: disappointing. I spent six years of my life preparing for this moment, and 3 years of that time writing this dissertation, and now it's just sort of over. On to the next project. It's a weird feeling--I feel like there should be something more. I guess it hasn't sunk in yet, that I'm really done. Or maybe I'm just wondering why I spent all that time working on this project that, now finished, underwhelms me.
